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At the close of the Overture, the aging Voltaire is roused from sleep and begins his story by introducing the four young people who live happily in the castle of the Baron Thunder-Ten-Tronck in Westphalia – the bastard cousin Candide, the beautiful daughter Cunegonde, her handsome brother Maximilian and the luscious maid Paquette – Life Is Happiness Indeed. Through a quick change of wig and coat, Dr. Voltaire transforms himself into Dr. Pangloss, the wise instructor of philosophy, who prances off with Candide, Paquette, Cunegonde and Maximilian to conduct his invaluable lessons in the classroom – Parade. Paquette stays after class for her private session in advanced physics with Dr. Pangloss. Overcome by curiosity, Cunegonde returns to observe Paquette’s lesson in the relative specific gravity of two bodies, male and female – The Best Of All Possible Worlds. After Dr. Pangloss graphically demonstrates the experiment, Cunegonde runs off happily to share her discovery with Candide – Oh Happy We. Caught in the middle of their experiment by Maximilian and Cunegonde’s furious father, the Baron, the two are yanked apart, and Candide is forever banished from Westphalia. Candide sadly contemplates his fate – It Must Be So. On the road, Candide is abducted by two men who take him away to join the Bulgarian army, which is about to invade Westphalia. Cunegonde, Maximilian, the Baron and Baroness pray for safety – O Miserere. The Bulgarians attack and kill all but Cunegonde, who is spared for the benefit of the Bulgarian regiment. After Cunegonde has fulfilled her function, she is tossed onto a pile of Westphalian corpses and left for dead. She sits and ponders the situation – Oh Happy We. All alone in the world, Cunegonde survives by moving from brothel to brothel, until one day she ends up in Lisbon, enjoying the amorous attentions of a tremendously rich Jew, and an equally rich Grand Inquisitor, both of whom shower her with expensive jewels – Glitter And Be Gay. At the same time, Candide turns up in Lisbon, just after an enormous earthquake, only to find himself reunited with his beloved master Dr. Pangloss. Just as Candide learns of Cunegonde’s apparent death, he and Pangloss are arrested as heretics and dragged off to be punished at the Auto Da Fé – What A Day. Pangloss is hanged and Candide is flogged unconscious, and left to die. An Old Lady appears who comforts the battered Candide – This World. The Old Lady nurses Candide and then leads him to none other than Cunegonde, still alive and yearning – You Were Dead, You Know. The two immediately face a new crisis as the Grand Inquisitor and the tremendously rich Jew angrily confront the two lovers. Seeing no other alternative, Candide kills them both. With the Old Lady, the two quickly take flight and head for Cadiz. As the penniless trio wanders on, the Old Lady decides to repair their fortunes by seducing three Spaniards – I’m Easily Assimilated. In the New World – Cartagena, Colombia, to be exact – the hot-blooded Spanish Governor surveys the new prospects at the local slave market, two of whom happen to be Paquette and Maximilian (disguised as a señorita). It is the winsome Maximilian who attracts the Governor’s lecherous eye – My Love. Though Maximilian is exposed before marrying the Governor, he escapes death by joining a brotherhood of Jesuits. Meanwhile, on a ship at sea, Candide, Cunegonde and the Old Lady are attacked by pirates who kidnap the two women and leave Candide lying on the deck – Upon A Ship At Sea. Heartbroken, he arrives alone at the Jesuits’ stronghold in Montevideo. Who should Candide meet there but Paquette and the long-lost Maximilian – Alleluia. Candide informs them that Cunegonde lives, which unfortunately rekindles his feud with Maximilian over Cunegonde’s love life. A wild chase ensues, and Maximilian is crushed by a falling statue of St. Francis. Once again, Candide becomes a fugitive, this time with Paquette as companion. After weeks of treacherous journeying, Paquette and Candide stumble into the country of Eldorado, where everything does happen for the best, where the mud is gold and the streets are paved with diamonds. Even the animals are articulate, wise and gentle, including two friendly sheep and a lion – Sheep’s Song. Even in Paradise, though, Candide is not happy and longs to find his Cunegonde once again. He and Paquette decide to load their two friendly sheep with gold and escape from Eldorado. After more wandering, they end up back in Cartagena, Colombia, where they miraculously discover the Old Lady, who informs Candide that the pirates have left her behind and are headed for Constantinople to sell Cunegonde for the highest price. As it happens, the Governor overhears them and offers them passage on his frigate, the Santa Rosalia, which is leaving for Constantinople that very day. Marveling at their good fortune, Candide, Paquette and the Old Lady board a skiff, as the Governor and the populace see them off – Bon Voyage. Unfortunately, the Governor not only swindled them out of their sheep, but also put them in a leaky skiff that sinks before reaching the frigate. Sometime later, the three weather-beaten travelers are washed up on a tiny desert island. But once again, fortune smiles upon them, as their two faithful sheep swim up, still bearing the gold – The Best Of All Possible Worlds (Reprise). They are soon rescued and immediately continue their trek to Constantinople to find Cunegonde. Safely arrived, they enter a Turkish palace where a lavish banquet is in progress. A veiled dancing girl is entertaining, and who should this girl be but Cunegonde! The lovers are reunited once more – You Were Dead, You Know (Reprise). Candide buys Cunegonde’s freedom, only to discover that Maximilian is not dead but is a slave at the very same palace. Candide spends the remainder of the fortune to buy Maximilian, who joins him, Cunegonde, Paquette and the Old Lady. The destitute group departs. The Old Lady recalls that she knows a local sage who will doubtless be able to solve their problems. The sage turns out to be Dr. Pangloss, who cannot seem to remember his former Westphalian pupils. Nevertheless, Candide begs Pangloss to tell them what is the natural function of man. Pangloss cannot find the piece of paper on which the answer is written, but Candide spots it and picks it up himself. It reads: “What is the natural function of man? What was it in the Garden of Eden? Dig, spin, work without regret for yesterday or hope for tomorrow. For man, it is only work that makes him endurable.” – Barcarolle (Reprise) / The Wisest Man In The World. Candide and Cunegonde resolve to adopt this new philosophy, return to Westphalia and create their own Garden of Eden – Make Our Garden Grow. But reality has its own way of shaping even the Best of all Possible Worlds – their cow immediately drops dead!

Credits

Dr. Voltaire / Dr. Pangloss / Governor / Host / Sage: Lewis J. Stadlen Coolie / Soldier / Priest / Spanish Don / Sailor / Lion / Guest: Jim Corti Candide: Mark Baker Huntsman / Recruiting Officer / Agent / Spanish Don / Cartagenian / Sailor / Eunuch: David Horwitz Paquette: Deborah St. Darr Baroness / Harpsichordist / Penitente / Steel Drummer / Houri: Mary-Pat Green Baron / Grand Inquisitor / Slave Driver / Captain / Guest: Joe Palmieri Cunegonde: Maureen Brennan Maximilian: Sam Freed Servant / Agent of Inquisition / Spanish Don / Cartagenian / Sailor: Robert Henderson Recruiting Officer / Aristocrat / Cartagenian: Peter Vogt Penitente / Whore / Houri: Gail Boggs Aristocrat / Cartagenian / Second Sheep: Carolann Page Bulgarian Soldier / Aristocrat / Vendor / Sailor / Pygmy / Cow: Carlos Gorbea Bulgarian Soldier / Penitente / Cartagenian / Sailor / Cow: Kelly Walters Westphalian Soldier / Agent / Governor’s Aide / Pirate / Guest: Chip Garnett Rich Jew / Judge / Man in black / Cartagenian / Pirate / German / Botanist / Guest: Jeff Keller Aristocrat / Cartagenian / Houri: Becky McSpadden Aristocrat / Whore / Houri: Kathryn Ritter Lady with knitting / Cartagenian / First Sheep: Renee Semes Old Lady: June Gable Swing Girl: Rhoda Butler